[closed] heavy cursed

[politrick]

Who: Merlin (politrick) & Friends
What: catchall for junk this month
When: etc
Where: Wyver!!
Warning(s): none

u thought

Comments

[politrick]

You're not very good at a great many things, but at least not being good at killing dragons is the right thing to do. Good work not slaughtering a whole species, then.

["You suck, but not as much as you could" - Merlin 2k17]

[tummyflowers]

You know, I really feel like I'm meant to be insulted by that, but? I'm going to take that as a win.

[It feels like a win to him? Yeah. It's a win. He didn't wipe out an entire race of talking reptiles. Yet.]

[politrick]

A little bit of both. [His grudging approval, if only because dragons were actually murdered in Camelot... This is the only way to get praise for not doing a horrible thing.]

Don't get too used to it.

[tummyflowers]

Well while we're giving one another backhanded praise, I will admit that maybe you're not always a constant liar and fraud. Just this one time.

[It's a moment. They're having a moment. The moment just happened. And now it's over.]

[politrick]

[This is the worst moment to ever have and he didn't want it!! But it's too late now. He makes a face.]

Right. Thanks, I'll remember that next time you drag me around making demands.

[tummyflowers]

And I'll remember it next time you're in the middle of doing something ludicrous and getting in everyone's way. So there we are, then.

[Richard stares at the dragon at the cage. Then at Merlin. Then at Tad Cooper. Hrm.]

I'll ahh, need Tad Cooper back.

[politrick]

[Ah, is that his cue to make a run for it? It would be, if they hadn't had that questionably decent moment just now. So here, he'll coax the little guy off his shoulder and hold him out, very generously.

Sort of generously.]

I don't get in everyone's way. Usually just yours.

[tummyflowers]

[Richard takes back Tad Cooper in a gentle and caring way because of the involvement of Tad Cooper. Not Merlin.]

I'm fairly sure I've read reports about you being in other people's way.

[A factual statement that doesn't acknowledge the small detail that it was Richard who wrote those reports.]

[politrick]

And you're so good with paperwork, of course. [lol.... anyway besides that great grift he pulled,] I've never been arrested, so I don't know what you're talking about.

[tummyflowers]

[Goddammit, he'd just forgotten about all that too. The displeasure is immediately obvious.]

Hmm. That's odd, you know? It's just, you have a face that just looks like the sort that would be arrested a lot.

[politrick]

[His greatest achievement... greater even than saving Camelot from tyranny: this.]

That's strange, because I haven't done anything.

[tummyflowers]

Yes, well, even loitering is a crime.

[Fortunately kings weren't subject to being arrested for loitering within their own kingdoms, otherwise Richard would have been arrested long before he was actually arrested.]

[politrick]

Only if they put up signs.

[He graciously does not give a double thumbs up, but the sentiment is somehow in his tone anyway. Gotcha!!]

[tummyflowers]

Ahh, see, that's the wonderful bit about being a king. You don't need to post signs.

[Why be a king if you can't be a tyrant about it, right?]

[politrick]

You're not king of anything here, lucky for me. I'm loitering so much under your very nose.

[tummyflowers]

Oh trust me, if I was king around here, I'd have thrown you in a cell for far less than loitering.

[Which... he's not sure if there is a lesser crime than loitering. But if there was, then Merlin would have definitely broken it.]

[politrick]

Oh, I know. I'm very lucky.

[And smug about it. Technically, it's not leave to do whatever he wants to push Richard's buttons without consequence, but he's gotten away with it so far...]

Maybe I should thank you for not having any kingly privilege around here. It's been helpful in not getting put in the stocks.

[tummyflowers]

You're... welcome?

[He doesn't get thanked nearly enough, so hey. He's gonna take it. If him not being king is doing some good, then maybe he'll keep doing this not being a king thing long term.]

In any case, I feel like we've learned a lot about one another. So I'm going to go off and do something important, while you can do... well, whatever it is that you do.