nysalogs | May Catchall

_{[She lets him cup her cheek, the tips of her fangs peaking out over her pouting lip. Of course he wants her...but is it really that simple of an answer? If not because she's offering (and desperate) then why? What prompts the of course? What supports the certainty of such an answer?]}

Then why? What reason do you have then?

Because you're you.

[What other reason could he have?]

You're pretty, and sweet, and I think you've been hurt more than anyone deserves to be.

Even so, you shouldn't throw yourself away.

[At him, especially - but for once it's not a sentiment against himself so much as it is for her.]

Not because you don't care. It should be because you do care.

[Which is kind of a lot for him to ask - he really isn't sure he can expect her to genuinely care - but anything less would feel like taking advantage. He couldn't do that.]

But I'm not throwing myself away...not if it's you, right?

_{[At least she doesn't see it as throwing herself away. Her gaze shies away, trailing off to fixate on the wet marks she'd left on his shirt.]}

You always say such nice things to me, you know that? Not many people do.

Then not many people are treating you very fairly.

[He really shouldn't talk her into a victim complex like this, least of all when it can only create more hate in her down the line, but he's only just awake, and his heart aches for her, so much. Still touching her face, he wipes away her tears with his thumb.]

You're a wonderful person, and you've never stopped trying to be even better than you are.

[Sorta kinda. It's complicated - but he really does think that she's progressed, even in the short person he's known her. Maybe he's a little biased, but he still doesn't think he's wrong.]

Any man should be happy to have you, Diva-chan.

_{[It's true that Diva's experienced a lot of unfairness in her life over the years that a few months of being in a completely foreign environment can only undo so much. She doesn't have much of a victim complex, thankfully, if she had she would have never survived and come so far but it would be wrong to say she's without hate. Right now there are a lot of things she doesn't like about herself, and this inability to do something so innately normal and natural only furthers the schism she feels between what she is and others she meets. It's not so much a hatred for what she is, more so a hatred for the fact a difference exists in the first place.

Any man should be happy...was that so? Was that really the case? She's had men begging at her feet before, head over heels and swooning, but she doubts it's because they wanted her - it was her immortality and genetics they lusted after as far as she can tell.]}

Then why aren't you happy to have me?

_{[There's a hint of frustration in her voice as she shifts on the mattress.]}

Do you know how many men would kill to be in your position right now?

I would rather that they didn't.

[No killing, please. He says it with a gentle smile, though, not quite chiding. It's obvious that she's upset; it makes sense that she'd act out a little.]

I'm really happy to have you! As a friend, and... maybe as more than that...

[Quick, what's a polite word for "fuckbuddies"? But no, that's not really what he means, either, though the reality of it is close enough.]

But I don't want you to do these things just because you're upset. That's not... the kind of feeling I think people should have, for this.

[Not that he's an expert, but he still doesn't want to feel like he's taking advantage.]

... Do you want to sleep here?

_{[To her credit she could've acted out much worse. Part of her had been contemplating going to the Red Light district and finding some unfortunate soul to devour but she'd made her way here instead. The desire for comfort seemed to outweigh her stomach for once.

As a friend and maybe more...but what did he even mean by that? Diva can barely navigate the various facets of friendship let alone something more...but that's not the important part.

She feels...rejected, but putting up more of a fuss wouldn't help her get her way. It's not like she even knows what she really wants anyway. All she wants is to stop feeling so terrible.

He gets a small nod in reply to his offer. It's not like she's going to go back to an empty house or worse, one with Solomon in it right now.]}

Mm...

[He appreciates that she didn't do a lot worse - and that's another sign of how she's grown, isn't it? Emotions are (almost) always valid; it's how you deal with them that counts.

It's plain to see that her sleeping over isn't some magical fix-all, but it's all that Atsushi can in good conscience do just this moment: simply being there for her, in body and spirit ~~if not in dick~~. He puts an arm around her, trying to reassure her that he's here, and that he will never leave her, let alone over something like this.

He couldn't say when he's gotten so happy about sharing a bed with someone, but it's warm and comfortable and he'll nuzzle close in his sleep. For all that he meant to reassure her that she's not alone, he's sure reassuring himself at the same time.

He may or may not also develop some morning wood. It's a total coincidence, he promises!!]

Edited 2018-06-15 19:41 (UTC)

_{[It's easy enough to just let Atsushi embrace her and be done with it as she finds herself laying down, cuddled into his chest. It doesn't take her long to fall asleep either. She's tired, emotionally and physically, and soon enough she's drooling, breath even as she rests. Over the course of the night it doesn't take much for the two of them to become tangled up in one another, limbs weaved together haphazardly. It's only when Diva finds herself trying to roll over in her sleep that she catches her hair under her own shoulder, the action tugging enough on her scalp that she wakes up.

Groggily she finds herself staring at Atsushi's still sleeping face in the dim light of dawn breaking. Up slides a hand, finger extended so she can boop him gently on the nose. She's not trying to wake him up, but she does feel fidgety, chest still heavy from last night.]}

[Atsushi is used to nightmares, but somehow sharing a bed with someone tends to keep them at bay. (Funny how that works.) In spite of having slept already, he's deep asleep in no time at all, cuddled up against and around Diva through the night.

When something touches his nose, his eyelids twitch and he sorta kinda makes a face, but it's not enough to wake him.]

Hng...

_{[It's a cute face, and he gives her a pretty good reaction...but it's not enough. There's another poke, as she shifts closer to him, thigh brushing up between his legs. It's warm like this and she doesn't particularly want to move, but she does want a response of some sort.]}

Hn-mmm... Daifuku, stop...

[Cats that want to be fed early in the morning. Why!?

... Hang on, this is bigger than a tiger cub, isn't it? Atsushi blinks open his eyes. Oh, right. Diva stayed the night and -
OHGOD WHERE IS SHE TOUCHING WHAT DID HE DOOOOO?!?!? He can't believe he got hard on her again! Never great at fight or flight, he does the usual and freezes. On the one hand: they've done things before, and this is warm and comfortable. On the other hand: it's so embarrassing to get hard without meaning to?!?]

... Good... morning.

[How is he supposed to handle this? Maybe she hasn't noticed?! No, that's definitely impossible.]

_{[She's noticed, but her lack of reaction is a testament to just how much she cares about his little morning wood predicament. There's a slight shift forward as she moves to press her forehead against his, skin warm, muttering her own good morning in the process.]}

Did you have a good dream?

_{[Why else would he be hard right now? They had only been cuddling, after all.]}

Edited (bc i can't spell apparently ) 2018-06-17 20:06 (UTC)

Yes... I think?

[That's a lie. He's not doing a whole lot of thinking.]

I should probably... take a shower.

[Specifically: a cold one. But he's not leaving just yet, because this really does feel good.]

And... you know...

[He glances down. The plan is to will his dick to go limp, because there's no way he can jerk off when she's right in the next room.]

Why are you embarrassed?

_{[It's not like she hasn't dealt with him popping a boner around her before. In fact, she very vividly remembers having stuck her hand down his pants not that long ago.]}

You smell okay I think?

_{.[And just to make sure, she gives him a little sniff. Yep. Smells fine to her.]}

Because!

[Okay, that is not a good reason. But the problem is he can't put his reason into words very well. Logic has nothing to do with it.

Much like being smelled and told he smells okay shouldn't give him goosebumps of appreciation, or pride, or whatever else it is. It feels kind of good...]

That's what you're supposed to be! It's an embarrassing physical reaction.

Even if you... like it.

[He hasn't forgotten that. Like he'd ever forget anything remotely like a kind word said to him.]

_{[Yeah sorry Atsushi, Diva's not buying it. She has zero shame when it comes to her own body, so she doesn't understand why he's being so squirrelly. If anything it only serves for her to keep him close, her hold on him going tight. He's not wriggling his way out of this one. She doesn't care if he burns up from embarrassment either.]}

Of course I like it, especially if I'm the cause for it.

_{[Because, in her mind, it means he wants her, and especially after last night's emotional rollercoaster, the desire to be wanted is still there.]}

If you wanted me you can tell me. I told you last night you can have me, remember?

[For his part, Atsushi doesn't try to get away, even if the situation is pretty awkward. Whether that can be chalked up to personal development or if he's just quick to give up is anyone's guess.]

... I remember.

[How could he forget? It's not every day he has girls throw themselves at him! The problem (one of many, really) is that he's not entirely sure Diva knows what she's offering. For that matter: he's not sure what he'd be giving, either.]

But is that really okay?

[It wasn't at the time; he's still convinced of that. It would have felt like taking advantage, and he wouldn't have forgiven himself, even if she had. But now? It's at least a little different, now.]

_{[Even if he were the type to take advantage Diva wouldn't see it that way. He's not really putting up much of a fight or protesting, which has her relaxing her grip around him. Does she really know what she's offering? Well, sort of. Not in its entirety, but she understands the physical aspect of it. The emotional might come and hit her like a brick later, but that's a problem for future Diva.]}

If it wasn't okay you would know.

_{[For one she wouldn't be so docile in his arms. If anything, she'd be thrashing about, tearing up pillows and his mattress.]}

I want to be close.

_{[Because there still feels like there's a void inside her from the knowledge she had received from Mephisto. If she couldn't have a baby, would she even be able to do something like this?]}

[Well, when she puts it that way... Of course he wants to be close, too; for that matter, hearing her say that's what she wants just about breaks his heart. He never meant to be anything but close to her.

Then... maybe this is really okay? It's not just him being selfish, after all... That makes it okay, right?]

... Lie back.

[That will work, surely: if he can physically be on top, then he will naturally take charge of this situation. He's just going to lie on top of her and... kiss her, to start. Kissing is always nice.]

_{[She rolls out of his grasp with little hesitation onto her back, blue eyes meeting gold ones expectantly. Maybe if Diva knew the inner turmoil Atsushi was going through she would be more forward with offering him reassurance. Instead she stays quiet, exhaling softly when Atsushi shifts to lay atop her. The weight is welcomed as she reaches to wrap her arms around his neck loosely.

Kissing is nice - that's something Diva will never disagree with. As soon as Atsushi's lips find hers she's readily returning the contact with a soft, wet sound. It's not bad, this position, even if it's the most submissive Diva's ever been in her life. If Atsushi is determined to take the lead she's not going to stop him.]}

[He's taking charge, all right - or at least trying his best to. (Her cooperation is much appreciated.) Kissing is something he's done more often, and even if he's still not an expert at it, he's used to it enough that it gives him confidence, in addition to feeling good.

It doesn't quell his nerves entirely, of course. There's more he needs to do, here, and while he's well aware of the mechanics of it all, it still feels like going in blind - which is quite literally what he's doing, too, because he wants to keep kissing, and that limits his options of sight considerably.

But he can still hike up her nightgown while he's at it, and awkwardly feel around to make sure it's high enough up to continue. He just -... He really doesn't know how to do the vaginas. He should probably try to carefully feel around in there, just an ass needs opening up??]

_{[When the presence of fingers suddenly make themselves known on the edge of the waistband of her panties she immediately freezes, only to squirm when they slide further down haphazardly brushing against her. It's different from when Takasugi has touched her, that much she's aware of, and as much as she's been going on about going all the way he wasn't just going to stick it in, was he?

A hand slides away from his neck, only to snag his wrist, stopping his hand effectively from roaming any further. She's not worked up enough for mischievous fingers just yet.]}

Wait...don't you want to undress me first?

Edited 2018-06-18 15:36 (UTC)

[Okay but can Takasugi please write a guide or something, because Atsushi really doesn't know! He's done some fooling around by now, and buttsex from both sides exactly once, and that's it. That's all he has to go on.

Still, he thinks he's doing all right, if only because he's not letting his nerves keep him from continuing what he's doing - but then Diva stops him. He's not offended, but he's certainly confused. Undress her?]

If you want...?

[He can do that, sure. He thought she might be more comfortable like this, but clearly he was wrong, so... here it goes.

All right. Undoing her nightgown, it is. Sitting up a little, he starts working on the buttons little by little. He feels so silly.... Maybe that's another reason to press on: he'd rather not have time to think about how ridiculous he must look!]

_{[Luckily for Atsushi Diva doesn't think he looks ridiculous at all. If anything he seems pretty focused and intent of stripping her, just as she'd suggested.

That doesn't mean she's not going to give him a coy look though as he does so, relaxing against the mattress as he fiddles with buttons. It's funny, how much of a fuss he had put up in the past when it came to seeing her naked and now he was going to get a full look at her and more.]}

Lucky you.

_{[Is he though??? That remains to be seen.]}

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