nysalogs | [closed] heavy cursed

Okay, Mr. Dragon Talker. We're alone and here's a big great dragon. So go on, prove it. Prove you can do it, because I don't think you can.

[Oh yes. It was the next day after the Full Moon and after all the dragons had been penned up again in all sorts of fun and comical threads. And it had put Richard in mind of this particular punk. So he and Tad Cooper had come to watch it all play out, even though he practically had to drag Merlin by the arm to the pens to do so. That stupid pointless thing Merlin was doing before? It was over. This was what was happening now.]

[Thank goodness Merlin doesn't do anything useful with his time except sit around and feel the good vibes of Magic Dragon Town, but rest assured, he protests all the way down to the pens. In the past few days he's been dragged around, thrown, pushed into lakes—he doesn't deserve this treatment!!]

Why should I prove anything to you? For maybe the hundredth time, let go of me!

Because you're all talk, Merlin! All talk. And it's time you either prove it or so help me, this whole thing is going to erupt into a musical number and you don't want that.

[And with his increased power of musical numbers, there's no way Merlin could escape it!]

Yes, that's literally the point, the talking. I won't do a single thing if you won't let me go.

[He's going to wind up doing this, but he also wants to simulate self-respect. So let go of him.]

[Richard releases his strong and manly grip from Merlin, giving the poor timid lad the freedom of movement.]

Alright, alright. You don't need to keep whining about it. There you are.

Finally, you've learned to listen.

[He makes sure to make a big show of straightening out his shirt after being dragged all the way here, then looks over at the dragon in the closest pen. Here's the thing... these dragons are too bestial to communicate properly, something he learned with Great Disappointment just the other day. But he supposes he can do his usual thing and lie his way out of anything.]

Just stay over there, alright? I can't let them out, so you'll just have to be satisfied with this.

[With Merlin marching over to the dragon and starting in with his bad Greek that it shames me to link, to which the dragon does respond, turning to him with lizard-brain curiosity. He's asking it quite literally to roll over, a feat he accomplishes by adding an extra hint of magic that makes the dust on the dragon's scales sooo itchy... it has to flop down gracelessly and roll back and forth.

A dragon. Rolling over. Here they are, witnessing this.]

[Wow, that sure is a lot of shouting in another language. Richard watches Merlin passively, his eyes twitching from the so-called wizard to the unruly dragon. Unfortunately he completely misses the grand event when the dragon does roll over, because Tad Cooper completely randomly and coincidentally rolls off Richard's shoulder. He panics and quickly swoops down to catch his scaly friend.]

Wow, now that was close. [He turns around and sees the dragon back on its feet again, staring quizzically at Merlin.] Sorry, did you do the thing yet?

You— are you even paying attention!

[He doesn't have time to babysit you, Richard!! He's still like, squatting here by the dragon pen, but as he turns to frown at Richard his gaze flicks to Tad Cooper. Now, he's pretty sure that little guy is just a lizard, but the literal man claiming to have dragon blood responded to his, uh, dragon commands... so.

He does the bad Greek thing again, this time politely requesting Tad Cooper come over here and sit on his shoulder instead. Ignore that the big dragon just pushes its face between the bars of its pen instead of doing anything more interesting.]

Well I couldn't very well just ignore Tad Cooper and- hey!

[Tad Cooper is normally a pretty sedate guy who just likes to hang out, sunbathe, and leave little doo doos on your shoulder, but he can be a little active critter when he wants to be. In this instance, that means pretty quickly leaping out of Richard's hand and crawling along the ground up to Merlin's leg and climbing his way up. Not only does he make it onto Merlin's shoulder, but he doesn't even leave a doo doo.

Richard watches it all and keeps his feelings carefully concealed. After all, he knows exactly what this means. Oho ho ho.]

Well, isn't that completely random and coincidental.

Completely agree. Very coincidental.

[Maybe he's been a lizardlord all this time?! He's keeping Tad Cooper, again, although this time he doesn't bolt out of the area. Just going to chill here, completely ordinary lizard sitting on his vastly superior shoulder.]

Trouble in paradise?

Trouble? Hardly. That only means either you're both real or you're both fakes. I wonder which it is...

[And Richard, while reluctant, is perfectly willing to live in a world where this Merlin is actually Merlin. Because that also means someone else has to admit that Tad Cooper is a real life actual dragon.]

[Damn. An impasse. Merlin hums, like he's really, really thinking about it.]

Lizards are... dragons' distant cousins. Certainly.

Ah, so you're only related to Merlin. That does seem more likely.

[See he can do this too.]

[No!! Damn!!!]

Are you really going to stop pretending I'm someone else if I say your lizard might be a very small dragon?

I think it's perfectly reasonable that both you and Tad Cooper have a lot of growing to do, but yes. Yes I will.

[It's a win. And the kind of boost to Tad's self confidence that will really push him to reach full dragon size!]

[Okay well if it's for the benefit of this potentially beautiful creature, he can sort of maybe admit he was quick to judge.]

Well, he still doesn't have wings unlike every very small dragon I've ever seen. [One,] But fine. I suppose there's potential.

I knew it. I knew it. Tad Cooper is going to be such an amazing dragon. Way better than these cretins here. [He glances askance at the caged dragon.] Ah, no offense fellows.

Edited 2017-11-09 03:18 (UTC)

Well— [He glances again at the dragon in the pen, which is still just trying to bump him with its snout despite all odds. Well... yeah, that sure is a low bar that's been set.]

They probably don't understand... and they're not very talkative. I don't know why they don't speak.

[But this is like the bare minimum standard, so if Tad Cooper can't talk one day, he better at least be Super Huge.]

Do they... normally talk?

[He looks pointedly at Tad Cooper, feeling a bit of a well of... disappointment? He feels like maybe Tad has been holding out on him all this time. Was he really just the strong and silent type?]

They can. Usually.

[Maybe Tad is a stoic... without wings... or maybe he's just a lizard!! Who can say.]

Be patient?

It's just, you'd think there'd be more dragons around if they talked, you know? Like, here's this knight going to slay the dragon and it says, "oh hello, let's stop and talk this out, eh?" Sort of, do away with the whole knight-dragon animosity business entirely.

[Granted, Richard doesn't even know where all the dragons went where he's from. They've just been conspicuously absent.]

No, I don't think so. There are enough tyrants afraid of things that they don't understand, dragons that talk included.

[Murder, Richard. He's talking about dragon murder. Please get this.]

Speaking as a former tyrant, I'm pretty much a hundred percent sure I wouldn't go sending my knights to kill a dragon if it asked me not to. I'd have to be pretty evil if I did.

[And he was always more clueless tyrant than evil tyrant, but the point stands.]

Edited 2017-11-14 04:10 (UTC)

You're not very good at a great many things, but at least not being good at killing dragons is the right thing to do. Good work not slaughtering a whole species, then.

["You suck, but not as much as you could" - Merlin 2k17]

You know, I really feel like I'm meant to be insulted by that, but? I'm going to take that as a win.

[It feels like a win to him? Yeah. It's a win. He didn't wipe out an entire race of talking reptiles. Yet.]

A little bit of both. [His grudging approval, if only because dragons were actually murdered in Camelot... This is the only way to get praise for not doing a horrible thing.]

Don't get too used to it.

Well while we're giving one another backhanded praise, I will admit that maybe you're not always a constant liar and fraud. Just this one time.

[It's a moment. They're having a moment. The moment just happened. And now it's over.]

[This is the worst moment to ever have and he didn't want it!! But it's too late now. He makes a face.]

Right. Thanks, I'll remember that next time you drag me around making demands.

And I'll remember it next time you're in the middle of doing something ludicrous and getting in everyone's way. So there we are, then.

[Richard stares at the dragon at the cage. Then at Merlin. Then at Tad Cooper. Hrm.]

I'll ahh, need Tad Cooper back.

[Ah, is that his cue to make a run for it? It would be, if they hadn't had that questionably decent moment just now. So here, he'll coax the little guy off his shoulder and hold him out, very generously.

Sort of generously.]

I don't get in everyone's way. Usually just yours.

[Richard takes back Tad Cooper in a gentle and caring way because of the involvement of Tad Cooper. Not Merlin.]

I'm fairly sure I've read reports about you being in other people's way.

[A factual statement that doesn't acknowledge the small detail that it was Richard who wrote those reports.]

And you're so good with paperwork, of course. [lol.... anyway besides that great grift he pulled,] I've never been arrested, so I don't know what you're talking about.

[Goddammit, he'd just forgotten about all that too. The displeasure is immediately obvious.]

Hmm. That's odd, you know? It's just, you have a face that just looks like the sort that would be arrested a lot.

[His greatest achievement... greater even than saving Camelot from tyranny: this.]

That's strange, because I haven't done anything.

Yes, well, even loitering is a crime.

[Fortunately kings weren't subject to being arrested for loitering within their own kingdoms, otherwise Richard would have been arrested long before he was actually arrested.]

Only if they put up signs.

[He graciously does not give a double thumbs up, but the sentiment is somehow in his tone anyway. Gotcha!!]

Ahh, see, that's the wonderful bit about being a king. You don't need to post signs.

[Why be a king if you can't be a tyrant about it, right?]

You're not king of anything here, lucky for me. I'm loitering so much under your very nose.

Oh trust me, if I was king around here, I'd have thrown you in a cell for far less than loitering.

[Which... he's not sure if there is a lesser crime than loitering. But if there was, then Merlin would have definitely broken it.]

Oh, I know. I'm very lucky.

[And smug about it. Technically, it's not leave to do whatever he wants to push Richard's buttons without consequence, but he's gotten away with it so far...]

Maybe I should thank you for not having any kingly privilege around here. It's been helpful in not getting put in the stocks.

You're... welcome?

[He doesn't get thanked nearly enough, so hey. He's gonna take it. If him not being king is doing some good, then maybe he'll keep doing this not being a king thing long term.]

In any case, I feel like we've learned a lot about one another. So I'm going to go off and do something important, while you can do... well, whatever it is that you do.

[closed] heavy cursed

here there be dragons

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