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Entry tags:
mercenary jobs #3 — open to all
Who: Anyone interested in taking some mercenary jobs via Aranea Highwind's offerings. This log is focused on Wyver and can be found on job boards across the city as well as personal handwaved texts.
What: Mercenary posting!
When: N/A
Where: N/A
Warning(s): Possible sex threads based off heat-event for this month. This was posted early for the holidays, btw. Happy Thanksgiving, etc!
What: Mercenary posting!
When: N/A
Where: N/A
Warning(s): Possible sex threads based off heat-event for this month. This was posted early for the holidays, btw. Happy Thanksgiving, etc!
Thank you for stopping by to check out this month's job postings for Highwind Hires — a freelance mercenary group!
JOB #1 — DOOR TO DOOR
With the abundance of new visitors, it seems there have been ample amounts of donations to the temple. Unfortunately, that is not enough. When you approach, you're stopped by a young woman named Igo who is requesting you help her: please pass out 100 pamphlets to refugees enlisting donations.
OUTCOMES:
- For all pamphlets passed out, the Shaman will pay you 100 Silver.
JOB #2 — DRAGON DERBY
In the West, you hear about this month's Wyver Derby, a small event where dragons are put to race on a track. It seems the fan favorite is Fangface but the newcomer Wingslash ranked high in their first few races. You're hired for body guard duty, keeping the peace and ensuring no riots occur. Enjoy drinks as you watch the show, try to bet for the right one.
OUTCOMES:
- Wingslash wins by a nose, so anyone who votes for that dragon will win double their bet.
- Those who bet on Fangface or any other participant will lose their bet.
JOB #3 — AFTERMATH
Tied to Job #2, the Derby went relatively smoothly... You're enjoying discounted drinks at the bar. It wasn't until you notice one of the ticketers cashing out a suspicious amount of extra money to a small group of people who very vocally complained about losing. As the small group leaves, you can either: report the ticketer or two, track them down.
OUTCOMES:
- If you simply report the ticketer, you'll be rewarded with an additional 125 Silver.
- If you track down the group, you'll find they're all in a small gambling ring, petty crooks that drank too much and most certainly had an inside connection. You must be ready for a fight — all 4 will attack you with fists and small pocket knives.
JOB #4 — VILE LITTLE THINGS
You were contracted directly from Aranea Highwind for a monster hunt. A Vileling that was once kept as a pet grew hostile in the past few weeks before finally escaping its owner in Old City and reeking havoc on pet-owners. Your job is to track it down before more pets are killed. Aranea instructed you to 'take care of it', but upon your journey, the Vileling owner (Bekins) has insisted you save it and bring it back to Murkhollow alive. Of course, they offer a good price.
OUTCOMES:
- Aranea is offering a flat 400 silver to wipe it out.
- You can lie or oppose Aranea's order, you which will gain negative CR from the mercenary leader. Bekins will reward you with 140 silver and you must find a way to return it to Murkhollow.
JOB #5 — RED NIGHT LIGHT
Bodyguard duty seems a bit more... mature tonight. With the week waning on and people acting on lust and emotions, there has been a bit more call for those looking to patrol the more savory areas of Wyver. You'll be paid a flat fee of 450 Silver for a night's worth of work.
There are three areas to watch over: a bordello, a herb shop, and a gang's rumored hide-out.
OUTCOMES:
- If you choose the bordello, you will find yourself playing body guard for one of the establishment's ... best worker and favorite client. You can peek in on the woman and her partner at the risk of being caught or you can escort them out afterwards. The woman offers a tip of 100 Silver and also the chance to have drinks with her...
- If you choose the herb shop, you will find yourself sensitive to the mix of aromas. A contact high ensures your inhibitions are loosened and with the lust in the air? Who knows what that means...
- If you choose the gang's rumored hideout, you will find illegal tusk and scale trading. You'll have to contend with 4 possible gang members all armed with weapons. Fight them or flee to report, you'll earn an additional 150 Silver.
Have fun! If you have any questions, feel free to PM me! These are all loosely based on your choices, so feel free to go wild with them. The outcomes only are indication of what the jobs would offer. If you're interested in having your character offer a job in the future, please let me know!
Aranea Highwind will ICly be contacting characters and offering them jobs based off the assumption she will receive 30% of the cut.
With the abundance of new visitors, it seems there have been ample amounts of donations to the temple. Unfortunately, that is not enough. When you approach, you're stopped by a young woman named Igo who is requesting you help her: please pass out 100 pamphlets to refugees enlisting donations.
OUTCOMES:
- For all pamphlets passed out, the Shaman will pay you 100 Silver.
In the West, you hear about this month's Wyver Derby, a small event where dragons are put to race on a track. It seems the fan favorite is Fangface but the newcomer Wingslash ranked high in their first few races. You're hired for body guard duty, keeping the peace and ensuring no riots occur. Enjoy drinks as you watch the show, try to bet for the right one.
OUTCOMES:
- Wingslash wins by a nose, so anyone who votes for that dragon will win double their bet.
- Those who bet on Fangface or any other participant will lose their bet.
Tied to Job #2, the Derby went relatively smoothly... You're enjoying discounted drinks at the bar. It wasn't until you notice one of the ticketers cashing out a suspicious amount of extra money to a small group of people who very vocally complained about losing. As the small group leaves, you can either: report the ticketer or two, track them down.
OUTCOMES:
- If you simply report the ticketer, you'll be rewarded with an additional 125 Silver.
- If you track down the group, you'll find they're all in a small gambling ring, petty crooks that drank too much and most certainly had an inside connection. You must be ready for a fight — all 4 will attack you with fists and small pocket knives.
You were contracted directly from Aranea Highwind for a monster hunt. A Vileling that was once kept as a pet grew hostile in the past few weeks before finally escaping its owner in Old City and reeking havoc on pet-owners. Your job is to track it down before more pets are killed. Aranea instructed you to 'take care of it', but upon your journey, the Vileling owner (Bekins) has insisted you save it and bring it back to Murkhollow alive. Of course, they offer a good price.
OUTCOMES:
- Aranea is offering a flat 400 silver to wipe it out.
- You can lie or oppose Aranea's order, you which will gain negative CR from the mercenary leader. Bekins will reward you with 140 silver and you must find a way to return it to Murkhollow.
Bodyguard duty seems a bit more... mature tonight. With the week waning on and people acting on lust and emotions, there has been a bit more call for those looking to patrol the more savory areas of Wyver. You'll be paid a flat fee of 450 Silver for a night's worth of work.
There are three areas to watch over: a bordello, a herb shop, and a gang's rumored hide-out.
OUTCOMES:
- If you choose the bordello, you will find yourself playing body guard for one of the establishment's ... best worker and favorite client. You can peek in on the woman and her partner at the risk of being caught or you can escort them out afterwards. The woman offers a tip of 100 Silver and also the chance to have drinks with her...
- If you choose the herb shop, you will find yourself sensitive to the mix of aromas. A contact high ensures your inhibitions are loosened and with the lust in the air? Who knows what that means...
- If you choose the gang's rumored hideout, you will find illegal tusk and scale trading. You'll have to contend with 4 possible gang members all armed with weapons. Fight them or flee to report, you'll earn an additional 150 Silver.
Have fun! If you have any questions, feel free to PM me! These are all loosely based on your choices, so feel free to go wild with them. The outcomes only are indication of what the jobs would offer. If you're interested in having your character offer a job in the future, please let me know!
no subject
A Demacian is always prepared, and a lack of knowledge could mean certain death. It's true that she had no way of knowing what they would be up against, but that did not change anything. She should have known what that monster was.
And it was her own negligence and ignorance that got him hurt. It was her fault...
She should probably get some rest, but there was something that kept her here. A light waiting for when he would eventually wake up (he would, she was told, but...), because much like her he didn't have anyone else. No one from that place he called home, where they would celebrate and welcome each other back with bright smiles and warm words. Something that seemed so fond but at the same time oddly dim when he spoke of it, like recalling something precious but long lost.
There was no one from that place he called home to watch over him now, but would it be all right if she stayed by his side here, at least until he woke up?
(Was she allowed to, even after putting him through this?)
She doesn't have to dwell on that thought long however, because as he pushes himself up to sit, she throws off what negative thoughts she can, leaning forward to put a hand on his arm. ]
Be careful, they said it might still be a bit tender. It's all right.
[ There's a note of hesitant relief in her voice as Lux lets go of his arm, sitting back in her chair. A note that grows heavy as she speaks slowly.
("He will recover, but his sight—") ]
...You know where we are, don't you?
[ He can see where they are, can't he? ]
no subject
He doesn't mean to startle when she touches his arm, but he jolts a bit at that and looks wildly in her direction, and while he calms the moment he realizes it's her and she sounds calmer now too... it isn't quite right, either. Not relaxed—
—and tipping his head back slightly as if straining to see her. ]
Lux..? [ It's a bit bewildered for so many reasons. She had been waiting for him to wake up?? He really had inconvenienced her... and yet it isn't the guilt that's bothering him or has his blood racing suddenly. She'd startled him, speaking so suddenly and reaching for him in pitch black. And he doubts her night vision is better than his. And the realization of why that is..
Maybe it's a good thing his eyes are still lightly wrapped in gauze. It masks how drawn and horrified he looks somewhat. How shaky. How he wants to bolt.
So he bites down on his lip for a moment, pressing them together tight as he continues to look somewhat in her direction, but just a bit off to one side. Swallows. Don't make her worry anymore. ]
...it's the station, isn't it?
[ So why does he sound like he's guessing then? ]
[1/2]
She could chalk it up to the bandages, or the fact that he might still be groggy from sleeping for so long. Healing takes a toll on the body, after all. But the way that he jumps at her touch, and she does jerk her hand away at that, and how he cranes his head as if... ]
...
[ As if he can't tell quite where she is right now. That she's somewhere nearby, beside him in fact, but he isn't sure where he should be looking. After all, the healer who treated him had warned her—
"He will recover, but his sight might never come back."
Seeing him not look at her but look past her, she suddenly feels sick. Dizzy and cold washing over her and the world feeling not quite right, like it's been suddenly knocked off its axis. Like there's something so overwhelmingly wrong with what she's seeing that she wants nothing more than to reject it entirely. No. This is a dream. She fell asleep next to him, waiting for him to come to.
It's. A dream. Please tell her... This can't be real. She does not want this, and gripping the edge of his sheet with a partially bandaged hand, she bows her head for a moment, presses her lips together— ]
[2/2]
[ And forces on a smile, looking up and trying to sound as radiant as ever. Like it's something so natural, even as the corners of her smile wants to twitch and collapse. But she can't let it. Not right now. Sitting up, back straight, her hands balled into fists as she grips the blanket in between them.
Because if she can smile, then there was nothing wrong. There would be nothing wrong. Even as light and color begins to prickle through her already white knuckles, and what does that say of her that she doesn't even care at this point.
She feels like she might just fall apart and she doesn't care; but she can't let him see that there is anything wrong. ]
Everything has been taken care of, so you don't have to worry. Okay?
[ Just keep smiling, Lux. Even if it feels like you might shatter into pieces. It's all she can do—she can't help him. She couldn't then, and she can't now. ]
no subject
She sounds tense despite telling him he doesn't have to worry, and that makes his stomach sink worst of all. ]
... [ His expression.. flickers a little at that actually, becoming heady. Conflicted. And he rests a hand against the side of his head as if it's begun to hurt. The left side. ]
'Everything has been taken care of..' [ He repeats it back a bit softly, even if something about the way she's said that has suddenly made his heart start to race. What has been taken care of. Why does she sound so tense.
Why can't he even see any light.
His fingers curl and dig into the bandaging at his temple. ]
I need to— [ tugging, sharply ] —I can't..
[ He's speaking less and less calmly, voice starting to pitch as something seems to come loose and then can't stop coming loose, and he starts pulling on the bandaging around his eyes. Yanking on it in growing panic. Off, get it off.
He can't breath, get it off. ]
Like this I can't—
no subject
It's all she can do. This is all she can do and it kills her more than words could ever say, but she can push through. She could push past that and keep a smile on her face even if she wants to tear everything apart to find a way to fix this. She doesn't do well with sitting idly by, or with being unable to act or make things better.
Maybe that's why something seems to snap the moment his expression flickers, and he repeats her words back to him. Like realizing that she might have made this worse and not quite understanding how. Watching him hold his hand to his temple, Lux begins to reach out to him but stops short, not sure what to do.
Watching him pull and yank at his bandages, all she can do is watch, frozen with a look of dread and anguish clear on her face. Her mind so far gone from the things she might normally concern herself with in a situation like this (staying calm and keeping in control of her own emotions), she takes a deep, ragged breath.
Why? Why can't she do anything but watch him struggle? She wants to do something but feels so helpless that it physically hurts. It makes every inch of her crawl, and all she wants to do is look away— ]
Allen—
[ She can't in good conscience look away, even as he's managed to loosen them enough that she can finally see that part of his face. She can't look away, especially with him suffering alone like that. Even if she can feel that light of hers breaking through, wild and uncontrollable as it courses through her, she does not care. This is more important than staying calm.
She doesn't give him a chance to respond (or for herself to second-guess), leaning forward and slipping her partially-bandaged hand over his, her forehead pressing against his in an effort to calm him down. ]
Please...
[ Her voice thin and surprisingly raw, and it's hard to say if she's pleading to him to stop, or begging for a way to help. She's so sorry, but she doesn't know what to do... ]
no subject
It’s still dark. ]
Lux… [ It’s quieter now, and he sounds surprised. Stunned, really, and he's dumbfounded for a moment how to respond when she's caught him up and he's not entirely sure how. He'd upset her? Or..
..she was sad?
He swallows for a moment, blinking quite rapidly for nothing to do with his sight, and tries to focus beyond how turned his stomach still feels. Almost like he's afraid to move. ]
no subject
To try to grant him some sort of peace, even if she knows that it's a futile effort. And that's perhaps what hurts the most, knowing that even as he sits there in stunned silence, she can't do the one thing she would want to right now. She isn't a healer, this is far beyond her ken. What good is this light within her if she can't use it to help someone who is clearly scared and suffering? That light that she was told to keep safe, that was supposedly different from any other magic in her world.
What good is that light if she can't use it to help someone who is suffering? ]
I'm sorry...
[ Her hands still over his, fingers curling up slightly, he might begin to feel it then. A gentle warmth like a glimpse of the sun through a dense and oppressive fog; subtle and barely-there at first, but quickly spreading from their hands and touched foreheads, filling in what gaps of darkness it can. Like it meant to push away any haze left behind with color and light. Like a rainbow after a summer storm.
One she isn't quite aware of yet.
Her eyes closed tightly and taking a deep breath, she bows her head slightly. No longer making an attempt to try to quell that light of hers, all she feels like she can do is apologize. For somehow not protecting him. For not knowing what to expect and inadvertently putting him in danger.
And for being unable to reassure him (or believe) that everything will be all right. ]
I'm so sorry...
1/2
Not that it means he can suddenly see. Just, instead of such an empty sense of nothingness... like there's something. Slowly, like the warmth radiating from her palms, the sensation of light and color more than anything. Maybe he's imagining it. Surely he must be imagining it, because it wouldn't make any sense. How from her hands and her skin pressed to his there is such a warmth like the sun he can sense it right through to his soul, not unlike the first time he'd touched his own evolved Innocence and realized the intensity of it, searing and blinding as moonfire.
His head jerks up a little at that, that she apologizes like that, and for a moment he's breathless. Lux..
Was that.. her?
Feeling her bow her head and curl in on herself—did she realize that was her? ]
2/2
[ Slowly... he's going to pull his hand free. The left one, gently. Not away... but just so he can cover her hand with his instead. In such a delicate yet steadied sort of way then. A commanding sort of certainty.
It tickles his nose a little when he lifts his chin and almost brushes her nose in the process, but he doesn't seem to mind. ]
...why are you sorry? [ It's light, almost airy. Something so impossibly gentle said with a quiet breath, with his eyes wide open and calm—if still sightlessly so.
Bathed in a dazzling sort of light no more helpful to seeing than the nothingness before, but somehow... it's a bit easier to stomach now. ]
If it hadn't been for you.. I don't know what would have happened. But because you were there, we were able to defeat it. [ He doesn't squeeze her hand, but his hardened fingertips do thread so delicately between hers. Something more solid and yet gentler still than if he had. ]
I'm grateful.
[1/2]
It isn't until he covers her hand with his own that she stops herself, frozen in place, suddenly feeling caught in what could have easily been some kind of mental free fall. Her eyes snapping open, she keeps her head bowed, holding her breath and not quite knowing why, or what to expect. There are a a few things— ]
...
[ But it's nothing like that. To not only question why she would be apologizing to him, but to say that he was grateful; to catch her hand and say that with such quiet certainty after everything, Allen that's... ]
[2/2]
[ It's too much, and she should probably let those words settle and land before trying to say something, but she can't. Her own voice feathery and thin, her gazes lowers and focuses on nothing at all. There is some hesitance there, like perhaps she should leave it like that... but she can't. To say something wholly undeserved, let alone to believe his own words, she can't stay quiet.
And it begins to spill out then, more of that light that remains unfettered along with her words. Her fingers clenching around his as she wills them not to shake, she takes a somewhat ragged breath. ]
If I had known what that was... if I had been better prepared, then you...
[ Her voice shaky, it's clear from her cadence that she isn't at all certain, but that this has to be said. She should have known. She should have been better prepared. That this would not have happened otherwise. That's why she's apologizing. But what's more— ]
...I can't do anything. I can't do anything for you, I can't help you even if I want to so badly. I want to make this better, but I don't know how... and I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...
no subject
Lux... [ He sounds a bit at a loss. It's not that he's saying it's okay. This is anything but okay, if she wasn't in front of him so upset right now he'd be a lot more upset than he is. But seeing her so worked up for his sake..
It doesn't make it okay but he forces it down (crushes it down) and takes a breath for a moment, feeling what seems like another sun-warmed burst when her voice pitches and tumbles, a sense of opalescence and light from the corners of his eyes. That.. it was her then. Because of how upset she was.
Biting his lip for a moment, he hesitates before he flexes his fingers against hers, pulling his other hand back slightly as well... so that he can cover both of hers with his firmly but gently, cupping her face like that. Please listen. ]
'...Even if the scars remain our wounds will heal.'
That's what I believe. It's okay. [ He doesn't really, not about something like this. But he can't think about his own panic right now while she's so upset, so he's going to say it anyway. ]
Being who I am... being an Exorcist -- that's what that means. We can never know what's about to happen next, or when we might die. But it's pointless to be upset about that, because if we regret everything we could have done better and let ourselves despair... we'd never be able to move forward. [ He's speaking quite gently. Quite calmly even, his forehead still gently resting against hers. Mostly because like that at least, since she's the one who first leaned in like that...
If he can't see her, he at least feels somewhat connected this way. ]
Despair... that's how true evil happens.
So no matter what happens, even when it's something terrible, I promise it'll be okay.
[ He'll let out how not okay it is later. When he's by himself. ]
no subject
Perhaps because no one has ever done anything like that before. Held her there and spoke gently but firmly; like sharing some kind of secret that was so very important. She doesn't dare move, because she's afraid that she might break that spell shared between them.
But telling her that it's okay, and what's more, telling her that it's pointless to be upset for him because of who he is—that somehow it's all right because of who he is—sits heavy in her chest. Not that he could live without regret, and act without hesitation as he did while fighting the vileling. She can understand that and would only agree to that point. But to say that it was pointless to be upset about the thought of losing someone...
No. No, she can't do that. She can't simply push that thought aside. She can't act as if everything will be all right, or refuse to get upset at the idea that he's in this state now due to her own self-perceived negligence. And perhaps that's something that he can't understand, having others who he thinks of fondly—having a home made up of those smiling faces, who would welcome him back no matter how long they were apart. People who accepted the kind of person who he was, who were like him. Exorcists.
And because she may never have something like that, if something happened to him...
...No, she's not going to think about that. She's not going to think of any of that. That loneliness that comes from hiding in plain sight, and the fear of losing someone who might be able to see past that. She's thinking too much.
(Please don't talk like that, Allen. She isn't sure how to deal with it. It's too sad.)
Instead, her shoulders slump gently, and exhaling gently, she begins to get a grip over herself. Her light still extending outward, it isn't as violently bright as before, but still present as a gentle glimmer and warmth. Even as she starts to calm herself, she doesn't yet move, still leaning in with foreheads gently pressed together.
It's strangely grounding, even if she isn't quite sure why. ]
How can you be so certain? Even like this... how can you make a promise like that?
[ She wants to believe it as well. More than anything. ]
no subject
—but that isn't the answer that's going to help her. And if anything... he smiles at that actually. The first time he's smiled since he woke up, actually. Even if there's something so heavy and bittersweet about it. And if only.. if only she knew even a fraction of the irony at believing he had anyone he could return to, no matter how precious they were to him. The fugitive.
Because it's the only way I know. ]
Because I believe in it. [ "Even like this," she said. His expression is certainly weighted by that—panic, held at bay—but still such a calm, gentle kind of smile. Holding her face gently captured there still, even if he's not entirely sure her reaction if he can't see her face—but somehow he feels like she's calmed a bit and is glad for it.
Is it funny? In this moment, that bittersweet kind of fondness...
It's the sense of belonging and home he hadn't expected to find again after he left the Order. The kind of people you speak like that to. Care for like that. "Aren't you stronger than this? My family." ]
Even if it means struggling and struggling, I won't give up until it is. That I can move forward and still protect the things important to me—and so can you. [ Because that's what she had skirted around so much during the festival about, right?
And why seeing her own comrades and family and reconciling them on the station had been such a struggle. ]
So I promise, we'll be okay.
[1/2]
So even if the the answer that he gives her is a bit different, that isn't what surprises her. It's the way he smiles in a way that's bittersweet and almost difficult to look at that throws her off-guard, even as he continues to speak. That he could even smile at all considering what has happened, the weight and enormity of it, to say with conviction that he believes that everything will be okay—
"—we'll be okay."
Not just for him, but for the both of them. ]
...
[ If her gaze had begun to drift, she pulls it right back up again, eyes shot open wide as she looks at him somewhat cross-eyed. Like she can't believe what he's just said, because surely she must have misheard or perhaps misinterpreted. She should question it. She should ask for clarification. She should tell him it's fine and to not worry about her or do any number of things to try to justify how he could not have possibly known what something like that meant... ]
[2/2]
To feel like she belongs.
(Is that all right? Can she..?)
It's a bit sudden, but she laughs quietly at that, suddenly very thankful he can't see the look on her face. She can only imagine what it must look like, a mix of overwhelmed astonishment mingling with a need to do or say something to shift them away from this—even if she is strangely thankful for it. Gently squeezing his fingertips between hers, she shrugs her shoulders up slightly. ]
I'm supposed to be the one trying to cheer you up, not the other way around. Some light in the darkness I turn out to be.
[ She's thankful, really! She's also horrible at Personal Emotions, so instead she turns it into a lighthearted jab at herself. That will work, right? ]
no subject
While admittedly his expression does go a little slack at that for a moment—awe, really, as much as surprise—it's quickly replaced by how he, well. Laughs softly under his breath then, and begins to let his hands drop. Perhaps not just compartmentalizing for her sake as much in that moment and actually feeling a bit of the weight lifted off his heart. A bit less like there's still a cold dread and panicky itch on the back of his neck.
Is that what it was called, then... Heh. ]
Ah— [ Laughing, so lightly, with such pleasant and blasé cheer.
And pulling back a little then, he cocks his head to the side with a bright sort of smile. ]
So that's what that is then. [ And actually... he seems warmed.
Because let's be real, with how weird everything else is in his life... a girl that projects her feelings as light isn't that strange. Or at least that's the only way he can explain what that is... ]
[1/???]
What "that" is? What does he mean by "that"?
She blinks a few times— ]
Hmm?
[ Give her a moment... ]
[2/3]
Well mood officially lightened literally and figuratively, and suddenly very keenly aware of a number of things most of which involving the extremely awkward and embarrassing situation she finally realizes she's been in, she tries to pull her hands away. W H Y.
This is her life now and she has Regrets. Especially because—Allen, are you teasing her?! ]
Th-that's not what I meant! How long—
[ Maybe she can find a nice rock to crawl under... ]
[3/3]
He still wasn't able to focus his gaze, so then how..? ]
You can see that?
[ It sounds almost hopeful. ]
no subject
But he does stop and blink for a moment when her tone shifts, and she's caught him before he could pull his hands back all the way. See? Well.. ]
It's... more like sense, I guess. [ He says it just.. a bit reluctantly. He'd rather not dwell on his lack of sight right now with her, as delicately as he's trying to edge around that until... sometime not right now. He'd rather not worry her.
Or make her think he actually has recovered his sight when he hasn't. He's not that good of a faker.
Yet. ]
Kind of like a feeling. [ His hands are a bit fidgety. Just a bit. ] That it's brighter.
no subject
But feeling his hands fidget and hearing the way that he struggles to find the right words, she quiets then. Her grip easing around his fingers, she lets her hands begin to fall along with her gaze, settling back as she takes a deep breath. Reigns that light in as much as she can, containing it where it belongs. Like it's such an oddly grounding thing, and for once she isn't sure what to say. To say even something so simple about something she sees as the very essence of herself, that she still feels like she has to hide from most of the world...
The only other being she's known who has experienced that light was Galio, the great stone giant that protected their kingdom. He was the only one who spoke of how bright that light of hers felt, and even then she felt like he might have been the only soul(?) alive(???) who could see that light of hers as good. But even he was more than a little strange by her standards. Nice, but strange.
...And well Starfire, on nights when they ventured away from the city walls after dark. But he wasn't able to tell her what he felt in anything other than nickers and neighs, so that doesn't help. And really how could he ever hate her when she spoiled him rotten with peppermint treats
Even those few mages who she had confided in here knew so little about that light of hers that it hardly felt the same. She could keep them at arm's reach; even X'rhun, who offered to help her learn to better control her light. She can't let them get that close. It's dangerous.
So for Allen to feel that and not shy away from it, she isn't sure how to react. Which is why she pauses, choosing her words carefully as she looks up again. ]
You aren't... bothered by that? I didn't hurt you, did I?
no subject
That makes him blink actually. The way she phrases it -- it’s like suggesting something unthinkable. And he feels a little naked for a moment that he can’t see her expression and she pulls her hands back, eyes flickering for a moment as he tries to track her voice.
She was worried she’d hurt him? Really? ]
Why would it bother me? [ It’s nice actually. Warm. But that he won’t say… exactly.
Because if her ability is light… that’s right, when he’d found her sitting by a patient’s bedside, her hands had been glowing. That was it, wasn’t it. It even seemed to suit her. ]
Isn’t that why you worked at the clinic? To use it to help people feel better?
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Almost like standing on a precipice, because she's still reeling at the idea of him seeing that, of being worried about any number of things... but she still wants to offer him that bit of comfort. She isn't sure what to do, and that feeling is terrifying.
That only escalates when he speaks again, not only to say that that feeling didn't bother her (she's relieved, really), but to ask such a simple and well-meaning question. Lux freezes then, breath catching and looking bewildered. He thought— ]
That...
[ All she can do is stare at him, unsure of what to say or what to think. That he would assume that she could use that light to help others in that way, to let them know that it exists even if the same risks did not exist in this place... She can't.
She can shine her light, but at a distance, in ways that others might not see or understand.
Fingers curling into her palm, she doesn't quite pull her hand away. Looking away from him, she draws her lips together into a fine line, speaking not much louder than a whisper. Like it's something she doesn't want to say, or something she's worried that someone will hear. ]
...They can never know about that. No one should know about that.
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Well I thought she was done but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯