cariad: (pic#11336830)
Yamagi Gilmerton ([personal profile] cariad) wrote in [community profile] nysalogs2017-07-29 04:20 pm

[Closed]

Who: Yamagi Gilmerton ([personal profile] cariad and fellow Tekkadan members.
What: Housewarming a Reunion
When: Right after their arrival at Olympia
Where: House 47
Warning(s): N/A so far



I.

The less than catalogue perfect condition of their new living quarters isn't what dismay Yamagi in the least. While the days of being stacked into barracks are long behind him, it's not as if his adult life has brought him anything much finer in the way of home furnishing and worldly possessions.

But the dirt. There's so much of it, in quantities that almost makes it feel Martian, if not quite as home. (and thankfully, none of it is red). It's clear these units have been previously occupied, even if Yamagi isn't above utilizing abandoned furniture and items. In fact, his first task is to make use of rags and disinfectants to attack every surface his height can reach. He's becoming very well acquainted with bleach over the course of the afternoon. With a kerchief over his hair and another covering his nose and mouth, no corner of the place will remain unscrubbed.



II.

The screeching of the radio--something Yamagi's pounced on even before his matronly attack on the premise--does an adequate job of drowning out the din outside... And upstairs... And next door... and downstairs. Every once in a while a frequency would buzz into something that can be recognized as music, lingering for as long as the tattered wires inside the structure would allow. For the time being, Yamagi doesn't tinker with it any more, plopped in front of it on the freshly dusted rug, clean bandages rolled and stretched between his hands. He glares at the contraption only whenever it starts to get antsy again. It's nothing he recognize, but while the music works, it's soothing all the same.


III.

"We need to get jobs at some point, hopefully sooner than later."

It's not the most pleasant thing to bring up when some of them are still recovering from injuries, and some of them still getting over being dead (or even both), but the lot of them haven't lived long enough to quite forget what going hungry felt like.

galaxycannon: (norba75)

I

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-08-04 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
Shino's never been a clean person. Not one day in his life did he care about the state of his space or himself. Maybe he's more likely to keep a bit cleaner if he knows he's going 'out', but for the most part, it's a negligible thing to him.

He supposes he always knew Yamagi was a cleaner sort, despite always being elbow deep in grease. But this ... what he's walked into here... is absolute germ-killing madness. It's a total slaughter that's left the place reeking of chemicals that give him a spike of headache as he crosses through the entrance. He nearly stumbles back.

"W-woooah, what, Yamagi, you're really going at it, aren't you?"
galaxycannon: (norba5)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-08-14 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
"Mmm, I guess I never noticed it was that bad. We really didn't know any better back there, though, did we? Guess we finally have the time to keep things tidier," he responds, arms crossed as he nods his head like a wise sage conferring some important observations about their former reek.

Not that his reek isn't still a lingering reminder of their prior life. He hasn't caught up to the times yet. He's still pure of all their societal expectations as 'good citizens'.

He does have clean hands and arms to take that laundry, though. He takes up the receptacle in his broad hands and nods once, sure of his orders.

"Hahahaha, you don't need to ask twice. I'm on it!" he shouts back, grin wide as he hefts the makeshift laundry basket against his chest and heads out to start picking the clothes off the line like a good boy.
galaxycannon: (C_CwptPUMAAr32R)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-08-16 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
"Whaaaat? Really?"

It's clear he doesn't believe someone like Yamagi would be stuck in custodial work, but he still has no idea of the extent of the fucked up mess that had followed his death. He's not sure he wants to know. This isn't the life he'd hoped to create for Yamagi and the others with his fighting, after all. It's not the life Orga had planned for any of them.

"Well, I'm glad you're doin' better work now. Your brain's too big to be doing grunt work like that..." he replies, watching the cloth pile into the makeshift laundry basket with a thoughtful face. "Ahh, but now we're here, huh? I'm sure there's gonna be some good work for a smart guy like you somewhere. Somethin' worth your time, y'know?"
galaxycannon: (C_CwptNVoAAv2H-)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-08-17 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
"I believe it. I mean, you can work some pretty complex machines and computers. No doubt you can work a mop!" he replies, a teasing tone in his voice as he lets out a short laugh. He can't think of too much that Yamagi wouldn't be good at doing. Fighting maybe, but it's better that he doesn't fight. Shino'd rather be the one fighting so he wouldn't have to do it.

He can spot the bashfulness washing over Yamagi's face and nearly sees him hide under those grown strands of hair. He brushes them back, though, and some little force on Shino is proud of him. He smiles warmly for him, face fond. He's grown so much while Shino was away. He's an adult now, standing on his own two feet. He's thankful.

"Ha? You think I'm just buttering you up? Aaah, that's such a shame. Even my honest lines aren't working on a mature Yamagi!"
Edited 2017-08-17 01:56 (UTC)
galaxycannon: (Gundam_Orphans_Screenshot_0623)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-08-20 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
Shino's face softens. He's been trying each day to not think about how far behind his is compared to the two of them. He's not like Mikazuki that can just accept things and move forward. He's always had hang ups based on his own failures and guilt. He isn't as strong as him no matter how hard he tries. When it comes to him and Yamagi, he knows their situation has changed drastically. Despite his effort, that moment where he'd finally opened the door to try and make more between them had been shut in his face with ire by the consequences of his fate. Now he's got to work again to ease that back open without knowing Yamagi the way he once had. It's not easy and it's making it hard to know what to say to him, sometimes. It's that closeness between him and Yamagi and between him and Eugene that had given him great confidence. That gap is a chasm in front of him now every time he has to open his mouth.

"Who could blame me if I did?"

He flashes his teeth and plays it cool, laughing just enough to jostle his broad shoulders.
galaxycannon: (norba53)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-08-20 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Shino takes the sheet to the face, still grinning all the while. Getting his hopes up? He's being sincere, he thinks, but he'll let Yamagi think what he likes. If he can keep him smiling, for now, that's enough. That's one thing he knows he can do easily for anyone.

"Ah, Yamagi, where should I take these? The living area?"
galaxycannon: (norba9)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-08-20 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
"Alright, I'll help you out."

Has he ever made a bed? He can't recall. They'd been sleeping in cots and hammocks so long, he's not sure of the last time he really slept in a mattress before now. He was probably very small and still with his mother. He has to learn now. He has to do every little thing he can.

"Presentable, huh? Haha... never really went and found a job before. You and Eugene will have to give me a hand, okay?"

His grin's a little shaky. This is one of the 'normal' things Orga wanted for them, but he feels thrown into the deep end on all sides.
galaxycannon: (C_CwptOUQAETp8c)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-08-21 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
Another thing Shino's good at is following orders, especially when they're simple and coming out of family. He sets the makeshift basket down and takes up the end of the sheet, shaking it once as he's told in order to straighten it out. It's been a long time since he's done mundane things like doing laundry or cleaning. There'd just been no time for anything but business and training in the last legs of his life. It's... it's nice. It's too bad they're in a troublesome situation at the same time.

"Now who's talking who up?" he replies, grinning in a snidy way that's meant to tease. This is really a more confident Yamagi he's dealing with, isn't it? It's fun, dealing with a Yamagi that's broken out of his shell despite all odds. His little mechanic really is all grown up.

"I'll take your word for it, though!"
galaxycannon: (norba67)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-02 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
"Uh hhuuuuhh," he says, completely unconvinced as he continues to share a snidy grin at him. Yamagi doesn't realize the door he'd opened when Shino realized his feelings for him. Even if he's mindful and wants to give Yamagi the space and time he needs to take things into his own hands, he still can't help but feel playful with the excitement that had come with the revelation. It was a total impossibility come true in his eyes. He wants to enjoy Yamagi's feelings, even if he can't bring himself to force the man's hand in this matter.

"Haha, true, true! Aaah, it's be a pretty lousy night out if I didn't have the cash to treat you. Looks like I have something good to save up for, huh?"
galaxycannon: (norba3)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-08 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Lucky for them all, it's Yamagi's job to keep reality and responsibility in check. Shino's yet to live a life where he even had the chance to use his pay to live on his own. He hasn't even a clue about doing anything with it but hoard it or use it for fun things. At least, now, there are opportunities to learn that and so many other things.

For now, he's just thinking about what a real 'date' entails as he helspt finish sorting the bed out. He only hops back into the moment when Yamagi gives him a sudden command.

"Ah? You sure? Won't I get the fresh sheets dirty?"
galaxycannon: (norba5)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-09 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
"Well, if you're not gonna scold me then, I'll help myself!"

He speaks with great confidence as he watches Yamagi fall back and follows him soon after, dropping down to sit first before falling back beside him in an effort not to bounce him up into the air. It really is a different feeling than being folded up into a hammock or hitting the taut, hard surface of a cot. So this was how people like Kudelia slept every day at home? It's been so long since he's laid on a bed like this.

"Aaahh, this is great! Y'know, we're in this big predicament, but in some ways, it still feels like we're being spoiled. It's weird, right?"
galaxycannon: (norba74)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-11 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Shino keeps his eyes on the ceiling, imagining all the things he's bound to encounter here that he's never seen before. It's exciting here but, deep down, he's nervous. There's a lot he won't know that the others might have learned about. He's so far behind again.

"Mm, yeah. It really is. I think I'm the most spoiled of all... being here with you all again. Even if I've got a lot of catchin' up to do, there's still a lot I have to be happy about. There's a lot I need to do to make sure I don't waste any of this time."
galaxycannon: (norba5)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-11 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Shino cracks a grin and stretches his arms above him before letting them drop against his stomach. It's almost hard to remember the small moments before things got too hectic for them to manage. The days blur together in mundanity, bathed in days he wishes they could return to and embrace. They had so much more than they realized, didn't they? Those moments where they had true quiet felt more important to him now than anything he'd sought and failed to accomplish. He wants to grasp those days in his hands again.

"Mm, I do. You always did it, too. I figured you'd complain eventually, but you helped me out every time, didn't you?"
galaxycannon: (C_CwptNVoAAv2H-)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-13 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
He half expects the question, but he still feels his stomach cramp when he asks it. He lets out a short laugh and feels his grin slide into an easy smile as he answers, fingers curling against his shirt. It was a lot easier to talk about this with Eugene than it was to talk about with the culprit directly. Yamagi, after all, was so scary he made the enemy look like nothing. He represented so many unknowns that Shino felt true terror sometimes if he thought too much about him. It wasn't dislike or disgust. Much more, it was a pure form of utter fear that came with the thought that he might have a fragile chance at personal happiness.

"Ahhh, Eugene spilled it to you, didn't he? ... Good, I was kinda hoping he did when we all met here."
galaxycannon: (norba9)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-13 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Shino takes the hit with a short bout of laughter, a little more honest than how it had sounded before. He really deserves more. A lot more. He knows it. As far as he sees, he's done nothing but wrong Yamagi this whole time. Maybe he's just made all the wrong decisions along the way. He has no proof otherwise.

"Hahaha, sorry, sorry. I just... y'know, I didn't want to force you. They were your feelings. I figured 'If he wants me to know, he'll tell me when he's ready'. I kept tryin' to give you openings, but..." he sighs out a breath full of nerves, "I-- ah, I -- maybe I was scared about what would happen if I brought it up, too."

He might as well be honest.
galaxycannon: (norba2)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-13 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Shino accepts the sound little beating he gets from the fluffed pillow as a short punishment for his own trespasses. He wonders if time has made all those thoughts and feelings flush out of him until now or if they've just been pent up somewhere quiet in him.

Then the pillow finds its final resting spot against his chest and he finds himself staring up at Yamagi instead of the ceiling, eyebrows raised. It's bolder than he'd have expected from the closed in boy he remembers. There's a lot of new things he has to learn about his family now, isn't there? He has to get used to the idea that, until now, for them, he's been nothing but a memory for years.

"That's not stupid. Isn't that how it's supposed to work? Mm, I don't know a lot about it, though. Still, it's not bad to want that... and I was just as stupid, anyway, wasn't I? I could've done a lot more for you, knowing what I knew."
galaxycannon: (norba85)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-18 08:58 pm (UTC)(link)
The way Yamagi talks, it almost feels like he's been away on some strange vacation. He barely remembers his last moments in space. He knows the raw and tearing desperation and despair that had drowned him after pulling the trigger, but as for what had happened to him and to everyone, he can't recall any of it. It's probably some mechanism in him keeping him safe from the truth of the heavy guilt he's suffering. He knows he fucked up. He knows he's gone. Beyond that, it's weird and ephemeral, just like he feels being in this place. Looking at the sharpened features of Yamagi's aged face this closely reminds him of it.

"I knew I was hauling too much on you sometimes. I kinda hoped, even if you were annoyed, that you'd forgive me soon enough. Even now, I'm probably still gonna do stuff that'll piss you off."

It's not like he grew up. In fact, he feels like he's taken steps backward.

He doesn't expect the kiss. A part of him figured Yamagi had moved on and was speaking out of regret for not saying anything before. A part of him hoped he had left him in the past. He was a disappointment. He wasn't worth his lingering feelings.

He feels his stomach ache in a way he doesn't understand. He smiles up at him, but it's coated with a weariness he hasn't shown yet since they arrived here.

"I was happier that you scolded me. There was no point in wasting that luck on me."
galaxycannon: (norba74)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-20 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Shino follows him halfway up, stopping to prop himself on his elbows. He looks at Yamagi, realizing he might have misspoken. It's hard to hold in his doubts. They're all so nice to him, to the point where he can tell they're holding back for his sake. He's happy to be treated kindly by them all but... he's been doubtful about himself for so long now.

"... Really? But, you all had to keep fighting anyway. I wanted... I wanted to stop it, y'know?"

He huffs but he keeps his smile. Is he just talking shit here? Did they really think he did so much more? Maybe his perspective is just bad, but... damn it, his plan had felt so foolproof. Maybe he'd just been too cocky under the effect of all that adrenaline.

"I--... Sorry, Yamagi," he replies, shrinking a little, feeling bad about what he'd said. He looks away and smiles uneasily for a long, quiet moment. "Yeah. I mean, if you're scolding me, I know it's still you. And that I'm really here. That sounds stupid, right? But it's true."

He flops onto his back again and shuts his eyes, taking in another long breath. He stretches his hand to try and brush his fingers over Yamagi's wrist.

"I dunno what Eugene told you, but... when I learned how you felt about me, it made me... it made me really happy. I was really glad to know that someone could love me. All of us are idiots. We don't think anything about ourselves, so it seemed really impossible and it took a long time for me to believe it. To think I wasn't just making it up in my head. When I got over myself and I realized it was true, it encouraged me a lot... when I asked you out that day-- I want you to know, it wasn't just to comfort you or something. I honestly meant it. Even if I ran out head first, I promise... even though I'm a stupid man, doing what I did, I really did want to come back to you."
galaxycannon: (C7QdWa7V4AA2E1t)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-22 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
Making him cry is inevitable, isn't it? A certain feeling of guilt pangs in Shino's throat and he has to swallow it to keep breathing. He'd hurt him that day. Shino knew it all along, but he's realizing more and more the depth that he'd hurt the two most important people in his life. He's not used to making people cry, but he keeps doing it to Yamagi. He's not sure how to stop. He's not used to someone caring about him so honestly.

He tightens his hand around Yamagi's, fingers firm but not squeezing too hard, trying to anchor him with some silent assurance. As much as his chest is tightening, he can't cry too. He continues to keep as much of his weakness concealed to the quiet nights when he can't sleep. He wants to be cool and strong now. It's all he can think to do for him.

Shino lets out a shaky sigh and turns his head away from him, eyes still shut. He curls his thumb and rubs it against the back of Yamagi's palm as warm tears continue to hit his hand.

"I'm sorry."
galaxycannon: (norba85)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-23 09:52 pm (UTC)(link)
His hand is shaking subtly against Yamagi's hand. Forgiveness. It's given, but is it deserved? Shouldn't he earn it? Or maybe being a memory before had made it easy to forgive him as he's faded out of Yamagi's mind. The distance between them now feels like a lifetime with how young they all expected to die. Yamagi and Eugene might as well be in their senior years when he looks at how short the rest of their timelines have been cut. Maybe it just makes it easier, safer, to forgive. He's never had to worry about forgiving other people before. He can't imagine what it's like to forgive a grievance that seems so big to him.

"Ha, that's right. You're not really the lyin' type, so I guess I can believe it."

He finally looks his way again and forces a smile.

"I'm happy I'm here. I've got a lot of work to do. Can't do it if I'm just suckin' up dirt in the ground, yea?"
galaxycannon: (norba40)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-09-27 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
"Good to hear."

It's a little string of hope he's held onto since he woke up here and found Yamagi.

He doesn't expect Yamagi to heft him up from his spot on the bed. He's still a skinny little thing, even with his figure filled out. He helps to push himself up with his elbow and accepts his place against him. His arm slides around his back and he holds him tight, silent for once in his life. It feels good, getting held and pushed back together with such honesty. He lets out a long breath and tucks his nose against Yamagi's hair, staying put.
galaxycannon: (norba45)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-10-01 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
It's been a long, long time since he's been held like this. The last person... maybe Eugene? Maybe when they were small and not rough at the edges yet. He can't quite count the years. He's always more the holder than the one held. The role reversal feels uncomfortable and strange, but Yamagi is warm and he feels a lot steadier than he ever felt before when Shino'd had to cradle him in his arms for safety.

His breath releases and he relaxes against him, his fingers at Yamagi's back, mirroring the other's hand and holding onto him by the fabric of his shirt. He stays quiet, breathing him in and swallowing down his delicate pride to let Yamagi take the time to comfort him. He's afraid to speak and break the moment. It feels too precarious and he knows how important this is for the both of them. It's the first step towards breaching a lot of things they're both afraid to dip into.

He doesn't think he's a very bright man, but he can read a moment well when he wants to. He knows they need this a little more than they'd ever admit.
galaxycannon: (norba47)

[personal profile] galaxycannon 2017-10-04 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
He knows he can bank on those words. Yamagi has never let him down. Shino's simple like that. It doesn't take much to convince him when the person speaking is someone he trusts already. And... he wants things to be okay. Even if he feels like he might have to rebuild everything he knew as 'life', he wants to believe that things might be okay.

It's just a matter of getting passed all the pain that's soaked into his body and poisoned him with quiet fears and cold sweats.

His broad arms squeeze Yamagi with care, trying to mind himself and hold instead of clutch the way his body wants to. He wishes he were as seemingly invulnerable as the other guys in Tekka. He always has to put in effort to put up his barriers.

"I trust you, Yamagi. I trusted you before, and I trust you now, so... everything's gonna be better. Yeah."
presses: (pic#11546551)

II

[personal profile] presses 2017-08-21 12:53 pm (UTC)(link)
The screeching isn't the most welcome sound, but Eugene isn't one to interrupt Yamagi's strange methods of securing his peace — not that it will stop him from being a bit grumpy about it. He's been accused of having a bit of a soft spot for Yamagi by the remaining survivors before, and his answer to that is always the same: who doesn't have one for him? But time has it that strength replaces fragility in him, coexists with it, enmeshes, and he's felt more comfort in aiming some of that serrated edge the mechanic's way. It's not like they haven't had their blowouts and makeups.

"You'd rather listen to that than the ruckus outside?" He questions behind Yamagi, softly unfolding his arms as he contemplates joining his side. Nobody here could really understand him like Yamagi does, not at this moment, but he doesn't want to put any of that on him. None of the heavier thoughts he's having or the rising doubts and reluctance to embrace this reality or get comfortable in it.

He wants to see if there's a difference to the smiles Yamagi gives now and then, or if he'd ever only imagined it, so he'll watch everything closely.

"If it's supposed to be calming, the loud screeches and static in between kind of defeat the purpose."
Edited 2017-08-21 12:54 (UTC)
presses: (pic#11565424)

[personal profile] presses 2017-08-24 01:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Enka. A word he only knows because of Yamagi anyway, and yet he still racks his brain to place it, frowning as his eyes wander up to the ceiling of the room. He thinks twice on complimenting what he's heard of his busy humming while working at Kassapa, which was really quite pleasant, and buries the remark in a careful, cautious glance over at Yamagi instead. He watches what he can of his expression, but when he's lost in work he's at his most difficult to read.

"Well, I guess it's better than nothing." Eugene admits as if it's like pulling teeth, having not quite perfected the art of "staying positive" in every day situations. Functional, yes, and realistic, but not quite positive. He's never without his complaints.

"Hey, Yamagi," he decides to start with reluctance, moving in a bit closer to disguise his surveying gaze as a piqued curiosity with the radio. "Does all of this feel real to you yet?"