who i am from the start

[pullsheavendown]

Who: Roxas (pullsheavendown), Sora (happylocksmith), Axel (icingonthecake) & Riku (dreamprotector) in varying combos
What: Meetings & reunions
When: Day of the latest pod awakenings, pre-Nadril
Where: Thesa Station
Warning(s): Kingdom Hearts lore is stupid

[So, he's awakened in space with the knowledge that his worlds is gone, found his other half, and had a conversation he always wanted to have but never thought he'd be able to. What next?

Go to Disney World

Get dragged along the corridors of Thesa Station, apparently.]

Comments

Roxas, Sora & Axel

[pullsheavendown]

[happylocksmith]

Sora's pace is definitely on the hastier side. He's a man on a mission and determined to head to his destination. He might be on the verge of dragging the similar looking boy behind him in his wake.

He has somewhere to go and he is not going to be distracted.

No one should be without their best friend for too long.

[pullsheavendown]

Roxas isn't a reluctant companion as Sora hurries them along, but he's baffled at the pace of the tour—not that it's been much of one so far. They've left the section of the station that houses the pods, but Sora hasn't paused to point out landmarks or note where passages lead to other notable areas or anything. He can't help but feel like he's missing something.

"Hey, is everything all right? Why are we practically running?"

Maybe Sora has to pee? Roxas would offer to open a dark corridor if it's an emergency, but he doesn't know where the bathrooms are yet.

[happylocksmith]

"Yeah, everything's fine! I just figured you'd wanna get there sooner, you know? So you can see everything quicker."

Sora could mention his plan, and what he's hoping to achieve when he and Roxas arrive at their destination, but he'd much rather keep it as a surprise. Roxas has never had any really good surprises that he can remember, and he wants to change that. He wants both Roxas and Axel to have a memorable reunion and he will be darned if he doesn't deliver it to them.

"You're gonna really like where I'm taking you, I just know it."

[pullsheavendown]

"Okay. If you say so."

He really has no reason to believe otherwise. And more than that, Roxas realizes, he trusts Sora, whether that's because of the kind of guy he is or because it's like trusting himself. Sora won't lead him astray.

So he follows along, feet moving quickly, curious about whatever it is that Sora thinks is so important he sees first.

[happylocksmith]

"Trust me Roxas. If you don't like what I'm gonna show you then... I'll eat space broccoli for a month, and that stuff is awful," Sora tells him, his face momentarily deadly serious before he can't help but smile again. "Oh yeah! I should show you the cafeteria later. That's real important, you gotta know where to get snacks from."

Or maybe he'll let Axel do that.

Or maybe they can all get dinner together later! Yeah, that's a better idea. It'll be like a party, and Roxas can be the guest of honour.

...where was Axel's room again? Oh yeah, this way...

[pullsheavendown]

Snacks are important, and for the first time Roxas wonders when it last was that he ate anything. He's been asleep in his pod, so before that it was probably whatever Sora ate last...which is a weird thought, so he'll push it aside.

"Okay, you're on." He laughs, and for a moment it feels like they're just normal kids planning normal things, not everything they are to each other. It's not ever going to really be that way, but it's nice to have the moment.

"Where are we going, anyway?" he asks, looking around. There's nothing obviously interesting in the corridor they're in, just a bunch of doors. Whatever Sora wants to show him must be inside one of them.

[happylocksmith]

"You'll see," Sora assures him, and then he perks up as he recognises where they're heading for. "But you're gonna like it!"

You can just come on in, Axel had said in his text. Well, Sora was going to take him at his word with that.

And there they were, at the threshold of his room. Sora stops and turns to Roxas and shoots him a huge, huge grin.

"You ready?" he asks, and doesn't wait for a reply before he throws open the door with a flourish.

"Ta-da!"

[icingonthecake]

Axel is laying on his bed on his back, one ankle propped against the other knee, a mystery novel in one hand and the other tucked behind his head. He's not sure what Sora is so excited about, but he's got to admit he's kind of curious. Sora is naturally excitable, he's learned that easily enough, but something about the tone of his messages is really making Axel think this is a little different than his usual brand of boisterous enthusiasm.

He's left the door unlocked, because he did say for Sora to just come on over, but he isn't expecting him to literally throw the door open and let himself in. He doesn't mind Sora not knocking, not the way he minded when Saïx never knocked, but a little warning would have been nice.

"Light, Sora, are you tryin' to give me a heart atta--"

He's halfway through sitting up to look at Sora very sternly when he catches sight of the thatch of yellow hair behind him, and if he does have a heart, or even a fraction of one, he's pretty sure it just came to a full and complete stop.

No way. It can't be.

He sits up the rest of the way, eyes wide and book thoroughly forgotten and set aside. His gaze flicks from Sora to the figure behind him, then back to Sora, and the look of incredulity on his face is probably comical.

With a soft exhale, to make sure he still remembers how to breathe, he gets to his feet, and looks back to the all too familiar figure in the doorway.

"...Roxas?"

Roxas & Axel

[pullsheavendown]

[pullsheavendown]

Roxas doesn't watch Sora leave. A short glance over his shoulder as he goes, that's all. He'll be around if Roxas needs him, he knows that for sure. But right now it needs to be just him and his best friend, and the fact that he can have that at all still leaves him a little overwhelmed even after the shock has faded.

He'd understood that Natha could reach out to save people from different times, but that was a far cry from reaching someone who'd already placed themselves beyond safety by going out in a blaze of stupid, self-sacrificing glory. What's left when a Nobody dies? Nothing. So there would be nothing left to save, or so he'd thought.

He looks at Axel for a moment, and he doesn't know where to start. The last time they'd seen each other, deep in Sora's heart but somehow in Twilight Town at the same time, there hadn't been the need to pick out all the right words. The ones they'd shared hadn't been wrong, but Sora had been waiting for him and there was never, ever going to be enough time for them to say everything they might want to say to each other. Not then. So it had been more important to sit together and share one last sunset before Roxas began to go to sleep in Sora's heart.

Roxas thinks to himself that the next life has come a lot sooner than he expected.

"Hey," he says, quieter now, only a little self-conscious about the drying tear tracks on his face. "Axel."

[icingonthecake]

Axel is having a lot of similar thoughts in the moment. It's like the Natha had somehow known that Roxas would be here soon, and so they'd given him more of the background he needed in order to prepare for that. Certainly he'd have been elated to find Roxas before his little update-nap, but now he feels--yeah, feels. Wanna fight about it?--like he can properly understand things, and Roxas himself, a lot better. Between the soul-searching he'd done here, sitting in front of Roxas' pod and wondering if he'd ever get the chance to say the things he should have said the first time around, and living vividly through the last moments of his life only a few days ago, Axel thinks maybe he's more prepared now to be the friend Roxas deserves.

Only one way to find out.

"Hey," he says in a deliberately mimicked tone, casually swiping wetness off his own cheek, "Roxas. Long time no see." He hesitates. "I think. Time shenanigans are apparently a thing," he adds with a slightly puzzled look.

[pullsheavendown]

Maybe it's dumb to feel better that he's not the only one moved to tears, but so what. He'll be dumb, then. It's a connection, something that steadies the ground underneath Roxas' feet, even if they're well into uncharted territory. He can't remember ever seeing Axel ever shed a tear before.

(You have to have a heart to cry, Sora said. And Our hearts are our friends and how we feel about them. It's one more thing for them to talk about, but one step at a time.)

"Y-yeah," he says, and laughs a shaky laugh. "I guess so. I don't know how long I was asleep, either time, but I think it was a long time."

In Sora's heart and in his pod. He's ready to be awake for a while.

[icingonthecake]

Axel's still not sure he buys that he gets a Keyblade at some point in the future, but a heart? Yeah, he could buy that one. Roxas had always made him feel like maybe he still had one, anyway, and that hasn't changed. Before that moment on the clock tower, Axel legitimately couldn't recall the last time he'd felt anything so keenly as to drive him to tears, and while crying certainly isn't necessarily the desired reaction at any given moment, it's kind of refreshing to feel like he can.

He reaches out impulsively and ruffles Roxas' hair.

"You're almost a better napper than I am, I think," he says, and then buffs his nails on the front of his shirt. "Almost."

He blows out a sigh and then pauses a moment. Here he'd thought about a moment like this for so long, thought about all the things he would say, all the ways he would make things right... and now that it's here in front of him, he's at a loss for words. He slowly sinks to sit down on the small bunk, then scoots to one side and tilts his head in a silent invitation for Roxas to sit next to him. It's not a clock tower, but... well, they are in orbit, so maybe it still counts.

"So," he says, and clears his throat. Then he decides that if nothing else gets said, he knows one thing that he can't in good conscience go any longer without saying. "Roxas, I..." He looks at him and then rests his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and shaking his head. "I am so... so sorry," he says, a little surprised at how easily the words roll off his tongue. It's only recently that that word has really reentered his vocabulary at all. "I know it doesn't matter that I thought what I was doing would be better for you, but I hope you can understand that I never meant for it to come between us the way it did."

[pullsheavendown]

Even without the time he was sleeping, it's been a long time since Axel messed with his hair like that. Roxas' smile slides into something crooked and kind of nostalgic, and he nods in acknowledgment before taking a seat.

It's different from how things were before. Their feet touch the ground instead of hanging hundreds of feet above it, and the light is bright and kind of sterile instead of warm and welcoming. But it's close enough. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine that they're back there, in a place and time when things were simpler and they could just be best friends again. It's what he's wanted for a long time, even when it was way past the point that was possible.

He'd wanted to hear Axel say those worse, too. Now that he has, Roxas isn't sure what to say in return. For a moment, he's quiet.

"I heard you that night, you know," he says, looking down at the floor. "When you said you'd miss me. I just pretended I didn't."

It was easier that way. Because if Axel was just as heartless as the rest of them, if no Nobody could muster up anything like a true emotion, then Roxas didn't have to feel bad about leaving, because that made his feelings just as hollow.

"All I ever wanted to know was who I am. I was always going to leave, eventually."

No matter what Axel did, no matter what the Organization or Riku or anyone did, the questions and the memories were going to catch up sooner or later. Part of him wishes it had been just a little later. Then he could have had three hundred and sixty-five days, one year to call his own.

[icingonthecake]

He's missed that crooked smile. Even long before Roxas actually left the Organization, Axel had missed him. He had missed the easygoing carefree early days of their friendship. He had missed the way Roxas had looked at him with confidence and trust, and the way the kid's face always lit up when they had talked about what to do with free time. Maybe things will never be that carefree again, for either of them, but he wants to hope that they can regain the trust that had been there once. He knows this isn't irreparable--if it was, Roxas wouldn't be sitting here with him right now--but he also knows that trust, once broken, is a very difficult thing to mend. He's been on Roxas' side of this line in the sand, himself, and part of him wonders if he'll ever truly be able to trust Saïx, or Isa, again after everything that has come between them. He wants to, but wanting only goes so far.

This is going to take work. And for all the tiring missions and icky orders of his past, this is one assignment Axel is more than happy to throw himself into.

When Roxas confesses that he'd heard his words that night, though, Axel looks a little startled. It isn't that he hadn't wanted Roxas to hear him, but it had felt almost too selfish to speak the words any louder than he had. He had known that everything leading up to that moment, and everything that came after, honestly, had been largely his own fault. Roxas had asked him for the truth, and he had simply denied him that, and if he could go back in time and do things over, he would take a very different route.

But he can't, and he knows this. All he can do now is move forward with a new perspective, and hope that's good enough.

"I meant it," he says after a long pause, but doesn't elaborate. Something tells him he doesn't have to. He looks at Roxas then and rubs his forehead, like maybe he's trying to wipe away the beginnings of a headache. "I think I always knew you'd leave one day," he says, shaking his head. "You never bought Xemnas' BS the way the rest of us did. I mean... even I knew it was mostly BS, but I still swallowed it, for years." He smiles a little, looking almost proud. "Not you, though. You asked all the questions the rest of us were too blind to let ourselves wonder about." Another sigh, and he leans back on his hands, staring up at the ceiling. "I just wish I'd had the courage to be more honest with you," he says. "I guess... I was scared that if I told you the truth, you'd leave... and then you left anyway." He lets his head loll onto his shoulder to look at him tiredly. "I wish I'd been brave enough to leave with you."

[pullsheavendown]

It's strange to think that Axel was too afraid or too unsure to walk out on the Organization. Roxas can remember a time when he thought Axel was the bravest person in the world who knew everything and could do anything. It can't have been that long ago—what, two years at most? But for him, it was almost a lifetime ago, and it feels like it. He wonders if this is what it's like for normal people to look back on their childhoods.

"I wish you had," he says. Hadn't he asked Axel to go, once? He can't quite remember. "Maybe some things were going to happen anyway, but it would've been better than staying with the Organization."

Maybe he would have had to return to Sora's heart anyway, but maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much with Axel by his side. Maybe it would have been on his terms. Maybe not a thing about his last days would be different except for having had a while longer with his best friend. That would have been enough.

"I heard you another time, too," he says after a moment. "Later on, after me and Sora...you know." He flattens his hand against his chest for a moment. "I think they expected me to disappear completely, but I didn't. It was more like I was dreaming. And when you and Sora fought the Dusks on the way to the castle, I woke up again."

Even knowing Axel is alive and well right here beside him, Roxas can't keep the faint traces of misery from his face. He'd woken abruptly but been unable to do anything but watch from behind someone else's eyes until the grief and the fury had risen up within him and he'd willed himself to act.

"You did it for me, didn't you?" he asks, looking over at him. "It wasn't just to save Sora. It was to save me."

Roxas & Riku

[pullsheavendown]

[pullsheavendown]

What a day. It's not, Roxas has to admit, the very strangest day he's ever had—that might still be his very first day, when he'd come into existence after pointedly not existing just minutes before—but it's up there. Still, it's a day he has that belongs to him, not him-in-Sora, so that makes it a good strange in his book.

He and Axel spend a long time talking and when that's done, Sora thinks of calling Sora to see if he wants to join them. There's still so much they need to talk about, too. But time is something he seems to have now, so instead, he goes to explore the station by himself for a while and get his bearings—recon, more or less. Old habits apparently die hard.

On the larger screens of the station, he gets a better look at Ysverai than he had from Axel's room. He finds himself captivated by it, in a grotesque way, until he shudders and shoulders his way past whoever's nearby with a muttered "'scuse me, I think I'm gonna barf,", and takes a long breath to steady himself.

From then on, he makes a point of not looking directly at the creature, instead focusing on the direction of the corridors and how they connect. If this is home, at least for now, he needs to know how to get around. Eventually, he decides to head back to Axel's room, and experiments with a shortcut. It's been a long time since he called forth the darkness, but the corridor rises up easily enough, and he lets out a relieved breath as he steps through it to—

Whoops. This isn't where he meant to go.

[dreamprotector]

It's been a long day. A long couple of weeks to be honest – with Ysverai's image (their failure) continuously displayed on the screens around the station, with new people waking up and needing guidance, with the new memories he's received just days before…

Well, Riku would liked to think that he can't be blamed for turning in early for once (especially if they are to go to the northern mountains in the days to come. Riku sure doesn't look forward to it.)

He isn't sure what time it is when he drifts back to wakefulness – all light in the station is artificial and with life frozen in time, there is no sun to judge its flow by – and for all that he's a little disoriented, Riku can sense immediately just what exactly had woken him.

It's the smell of Darkness.

Even if he can't create them himself anymore, he knows the feeling of swelling magic all too well, the way Darkness pools and gathers before it rises up and parts the fabric of space to create a corridor from one place to another – and even if he can't tell just who is going to step out of it, he's certain that it must be an enemy (Axel would know better than to open a corridor into his room of all places, so it surely has to be someone newly awakened, one of the New Organization XIII maybe?

Rather than to turn on the lights and wait to see just who is going to step out of the Corridor, Riku rolls himself out of his bed, Way To The Dawn falling into his hand the second he feels steady ground beneath his bare feet. Then without hesitating another moment, he pushes himself forward to strike at whoever is trying to surprise him in sleep and darkness.

They really should know better than to try that one on him of all the people.

[pullsheavendown]

He's only been awake for a few hours, but Roxas can tell that one residential room on Thesa Station is pretty much the same as another. Yet when he steps through the dark corridor, he immediately knows that he isn't where he set out to arrive—there's none of Axel's things, no Axel, and it's dark. But the corridors have never led him astray before. So why...?

There's just enough time for him to begin puzzling over where he is when there's the sound of rushing movement and then something strikes him hard. Caught by surprise, there's no time for him to react; Roxas goes down like a sack of bricks.

Pain flares up all down his left side, and it's no picnic when he lands at a weird angle on his right. His elbow feels all funny, like something's vibrating down his arm from the spot it hit the floor, but nothing's broken. He hopes.

"Ow!"

Roxas hisses in pain before rolling to a crouched, defensive position, forcing himself to move no matter how much it hurts. His attacker is still here. He calls Oathkeeper and glares into the darkness, waiting for a sign of whoever hit him.

"Who's there? Show yourself!"

[dreamprotector]

Even if it's been a while, after fighting blindfolded for more than a year Riku doesn't need any light to guide him to his enemy – but for all that he's prepared to battle the intruder without sight… he isn't quite prepared for what actually happens.

He hadn't thought that his enemy wouldn't put up a fight at all.

Riku frowns to himself, especially when an all too familiar voice hisses in pain, then calls out – and now he's finally awake enough to recognize the scent that's entered, wonders how he's not sensed it before (a light as bright as Sora's, the faint taste of sea salt and nothingness on his tongue that he associates with Nobodies… so yea, there's no doubt on his mind that this is…)

"Roxas!?"

What in the light… and speaking off, it's probably a good idea to stop standing around in the dark, especially since there apparently isn't any enemy to face after all probably, so Riku mutters:

"Lights."

Sure enough, the lights in his room flicker into being at voice command, revealing the curious image of Riku in his sleeping cloths holding Way To The Dawn while blinking to get used to the sudden brightness, that reveals what his other senses already told him – Roxas, combat ready and holding Oathkeeper. The image brings Riku to a million questions – most of which he can answer himself a second later, so finally he settles for:

"Why did you open a corridor to my room?"

Like really. What reaction was he expecting to happen? Or is this just the natural evolution of Sora's habit never to knock?

[pullsheavendown]

Even from just a few syllables, Roxas recognizes that voice. Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise—he knew Riku was awake, and it was inevitable that they'd meet. Because of Sora, or maybe just destiny, if it really exists.

Except yes he absolutely should be surprised, because he'd been trying to get somewhere else entirely. What the heck.

"Riku?" He blinks in the light, still fairly achy and considerably peeved. Yep, that's him, although he looks different from how Roxas remembers—no coat, no blindfold, less hair. Also, pajamas. Put together, it doesn't make a threatening picture, although that doesn't mean Roxas feels safe.

"I didn't!" he says after a moment to comprehend the question, no small amount of indignance in his voice. He straightens, considering it less likely that he's going to have to fight, but doesn't dismiss Oathkeeper. If Riku keeps his Keyblade out, so does Roxas. "Why would I? I was trying to get back to Axel's room. I don't know why it brought me here."

[dreamprotector]

Riku waits another second until his eyes are used to the light, then finally dismisses Way To The Dawn – now that the intruder has been identified as somewhat harmless(?), there is no need for it anymore. He doesn't particular want to fight Roxas right now at least, and not while wearing pajamas of all things.

(Honestly he really just wants to go back to sleep, but he's pretty sure that option went out the window the second Roxas opened that corridor, accidentally or not).

He sighs at that explanation, then runs one hand through the short hands of his hair – somehow he's still used and unused to the length of it at the same time; it may or may not take a few days until he's adjusted again, he thinks – then says:

"The corridors work a little differently here than they do elsewhere. They don't open to other worlds, and their range has become much shorter."

Which is probably how Roxas had wound up in the wrong room – Axel's room isn't even near this floor after all.

"Unless you know exactly where you want to go and that it's within your range, they aren't exactly practical to use."

[pullsheavendown]

It's a strange thing, to talk to Riku and get straight answers even if they're to questions he didn't actually ask. Or maybe it's just strange to be talking to Riku at all, because conversation isn't something they've ever shared.

He waits for a moment after Riku's Keyblade is gone to dismiss his own. Whether that's to make a point or because he still doesn't trust the other boy isn't something even he could say for sure.

"Geez, he could have warned me," he grumbles. There's no way Axel didn't know—he's fond of a shortcut. Of course, so does Roxas, and that's why this is going to be a pain. How much shorter? He might have to experiment, but that's not an appealing prospect if they're going to dump him in places like this.

"Uh, thanks for telling me," he adds after a moment, and makes a move to pass Riku and head for the door. It's awkward and not a great way to abruptly end their first meeting here, even he knows that, but he'd thought he'd have time to prepare and figure out what he thinks of Riku before he had to talk to him.